Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She bit a glass in half.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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