and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
