I molested 6 butterflies tonight
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
