What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
