I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
