You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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