my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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