no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
