We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
farters have to be the big spoon...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
