I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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