it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
