Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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