Tell her she can't have a vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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