Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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