this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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