Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
