Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize