the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
