Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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