I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
