considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
