I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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