In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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