I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
