Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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