Those balls look pretty dangerous.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
