I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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