the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize