Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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