I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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