plz talk dirty to me
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
