remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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