Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
