so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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