This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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