No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
