Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
