I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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