coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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