the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
