Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
