this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
