She's JV to your varsity
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
