You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
