I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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