No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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