Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
