So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
