Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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