God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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