Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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