their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
