Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
