So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
