he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
