so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
