omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize