apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
